Last week I finally admitted to Bruce that I am desperate to hear him verbally reinforce while I am being spanked. To hear him say why I am in trouble, what he expects in the future, or simply that he is the boss makes me feel like it is more purposeful. We are not just messing around; this is a part of a lifestyle choice that we have adopted for a reason, and we follow through with these actions to reinforce that he is the authority in the relationship.
Soon after, I admitted to Bruce that I still do makeup in the car, and asked if we should make that a punishable offense for future occurrences. I expected a vague non-committal response, but to my surprise he said that it was indeed a punishable offense and that "It will be retroactive if I say so." Wow, okay then. That night he came home and we 'addressed' the issue in the bedroom. After I undressed he reiterated that doing makeup while driving is not only dangerous but selfish. He did give me a warm up (whew!), and half-way through the spanking he paused to ask me why I was being spanked, and what I would do differently in the future. He finished, repeated his expectation one more time, and we hugged. To my surprise, I cried; not an intense sobbing cry, but real tears over how badly I felt and how much I wanted to please him. He seemed surprised by this, but I told him that I was glad for the tears, as they provided a type of release for me.
I want to be clear that this is a separate issue from being reckless while driving. Once I was actually a bit reckless while applying makeup, and I immediately felt the need to repent and ask for God's forgiveness; I chose to stop doing makeup to the point of recklessness because it was disrespectful to Him and his creation, period. However I don't see the harm in carefully applying a touch here and there while keeping my eyes on the road. But that's not the point; the point is that Bruce sees a problem with it, so that behavior needs to stop out of respect for him. I was honestly a little surprised at my own conviction to correct this so completely, but I have completely stopped. I felt really struck by his willingness to hold me accountable for that. From what I understand, the men in these types of relationships generally appreciate the lifestyle overall, but hate having to punish; I know that Bruce is the same in this regard. He did something he didn't want to do in order to drive home the point that my behavior needed to stop, and I want to respect that completely. I can still hear how weird this sounds from the outside of all of this, but nonetheless there it is.
And now I'm off to get ready for a date with that sexy man of mine. I have to say, I've always found his appearance and character to be sexy, but lately I have noticed that his character just keeps getting sexier and sexier ;)