I don’t care what anyone says, size, or rather length, really does make all the difference. Of course, I’m talking about length of spanking here ;) Seriously though, nothing is worse than a spanking that is too light... except maybe a spanking that is too hard, ha. But in my opinion how long a spanking lasts has a far larger impact than level of harshness ever could.
A few nights ago Bruce and I discussed a specific and particularly awful habit of disrespect that I have fallen into recently. After discussing I apologized and he forgave me, but before getting in bed that night he had me undress and lay over his lap. I expected the lexan paddle, or worse a blend of the lexan and our other implements, but to my *initial* relief he never opened the implement drawer. Now in the past year or two Bruce has become a rockstar at hand spankings, so I didn’t think I was getting off easy, but I had assumed it would at least be better than a spanking with implements. And it might have been, except that it lasted so long.
I tried to keep track at first, but by forty strikes I realized that my mental energy would be needed elsewhere. What started out as uncomfortable soon became painful, and little by little that painfulness became absolutely unbearable. Since this happened gradually I was able to force myself to stay very still, but I also had to “take it” for much longer which required a good deal more resolve. When it was over I was surprised by how contrite and submissive I felt. What’s more, I felt overwhelmingly loved. And even though these feelings are always strong enough to catch me off guard, I really shouldn’t be surprised because I always feel this way after a long spanking. Here’s why:
Reason #1: a long spanking undeniably screams “I am totally serious about being in charge.” When Bruce keeps me over his knee for longer than I expect it shows me that his having authority in our relationship is a priority to him. It shows me that, even if he’s tired/busy/etc., he still feels that the point needs driven home thoroughly. Although this is a little intimidating it definitely helps me bring my submissiveness to the next level.
Reason #2: a long spanking also screams “YOU are a priority to me.” When Bruce uses his own time to physically get through to me it tells me that he is willing to fight for me/us, and that he thinks our roles/our relationship and my submissiveness/overall wellbeing is worth his time. When I get affirmation of being valuable to him I work harder to serve him out of deep gratitude and love.
Reason #3: I have time to truly get in the right mindset. For one thing a long spanking gradually becomes unbearable, so I have ample opportunity to brace myself and be still, remember why I deserve it, etc. And for another thing once the spanking becomes unbearable it is unbearable for far longer. This makes the fact that I am not in control sink in very thoroughly! This part seems to last forever and I admit this part is more awful than the harshest spanking. But regardless of this, reaching such a mental state is really pivotal to the entire submissive process.
Reason #4: The discomfort of a long spanking lasts. At least with us, my discomfort the next day has a direct correlation to how long the spanking lasted. I’ve had horrible spankings with all three of our implements that left me reeling, but unless they are long I wake in the morning with nearly no residual effect. The morning after my recent hand spanking however, I was plenty tender. This serves as a reminder all day that my man is the boss, and I’d better treat him as such!
I’ve mentioned we’re in a uniquely crazy time right now with Bruce’s career and having two babies under two, so to be honest these long spankings aren’t happening all of the time lately. But when life was more manageable these were the norm, and I trust that when we have more time and energy they will be again. For now the occasional reminder of the way these work will have to be enough, and of course our commitment to each other and to our roles still shines through in other aspects of DD and just in our marriage in general.
Nonetheless, length of spanking is so huge that it is definitely worthy of having its own blog post. So there you have it- length really does matter :)