Isn’t it funny how most fantasies logistically cannot become reality? I’m talking about the type of fantasies that literally cannot play out the way we imagine or daydream that they should. DD fantasies are like that I think!
I always fantasize that Bruce and I have a terrible argument, and he rescues us from it by lovingly and authoritatively pulling me over his lap, and says something about how he loves me or is willing to fight for us or something wonderful that makes me melt with affection. He spanks me long and hard, and when he’s finished we have passionate sex, then complete the evening in each other’s arms. This is a fantasy I’ve always had in my head. Well a few nights ago nearly that exact series of events actually happened, but it really wasn’t at all like I had imagined it before. Now for me just having a man that is willing to do even some of the above is a fantasy in itself, and that fantasy does translate beautifully into reality. Unfortunately neither of us use DD as often as we should, but we do both know that it’s worth the extra effort in the long run.
So just for fun I want to break down the fantasy vs reality of the above scenario...
1) A heated argument is halted by Bruce kindly but firmly pulling me over his lap
- Fantasy: I melt over the affection behind the gesture
- Reality: I did feel vaguely thankful, but I was still wrapped up in the argument, so mostly I just felt conflicted and unsettled
2) He gives me a long hard spanking
- Fantasy: the spanking hurts enough for me to feel his authority, but is mostly just hot
- Reality: the spanking hurt so badly I could not think of anything past the discomfort, and I was nowhere near being turned on
3) We have passionate sex afterward
- Fantasy: we segue perfectly into lovemaking, and it’s amazingly spiced up
- Reality: ok it was still amazing, but it took some time for us to get into it and shift gears from the emotional gravity of such a hard spanking
4) We end the scenario in a loving embrace
- Fantasy: he holds me tight, tells me I am forgiven, that I’ve taken it well, etc... all very eloquently and affectionately...
- Reality: he held me tight and told me he loves me. Those are two major things for sure, but I either had to infer or verbally confirm the other “aftercare” stuff- this is just the way he is, and I love who he is so that’s okay
So fantasy and reality can mix a bit, but here was this almost-identical scenario, and I just couldn’t help but notice the absurdity of my fantasy. A hard spanking that is mostly just hot? In my experience that’s just literally not a thing at all! And having perfect clarity in the midst of a heated argument? I can’t ever see the bigger picture when I’m worked up emotionally. I guess my takeaway is that fantasies are so unrealistic that we wouldn’t even like them if they happened exactly as we imagined. I love that he spanked me to get through to me and not just to turn me on, and the reason the gesture was so beautiful in the first place is that I wasn’t willing to accept it but he made the effort to propose and insist on what he knew would get us back on the same page.
Maybe I’m a space cadet, but I really do feel like I’m living a fantasy with him. Still, the fantasy is never “perfect,” and sometimes it really isn’t a fantasy at all. Because let’s be real: marriage is a commitment, women and men think differently, emotions are sticky, and anything worth doing it gruellingly hard work. This is especially true of putting the other first! We’re not where we want to be, but I believe we are traveling in the correct direction. Everything’s a journey right? And boy am I enjoying the ride ;)