Sunday, November 4, 2018

Filtering Speech

Apologies for not replying to comments, there is a kink in my blogger account that I’m trying to get sorted out, and it won’t let me comment at all.

I apologized to Bruce this week for just not being submissive like I want to be, specifically in what I’ve been saying. I’ve not been sassing or anything blatantly disrespectful, just not deferring to him like I should be. I need that submissive filter, and it generally just hasn’t been there. Here are the worst *completely unfiltered* things I’ve been guilty of saying at least once recently:

(When feeling needy)
“Did you even notice that...”
Yikes. With a filter I would just respectfully come out with it: “Could you give me verbal affirmation whenever you think of it? That helps me a lot.”

(When feeling overwhelmed)
- - - [as in no response]
With a filter I would face the diaper blowout or toddler meltdown and say “I know you’re tired honey. I can get this one.”

(When feeling appreciative)
“Thanks baby.”
Filtered this should be way more specific and articulate: “Wow thanks for wiping up the kitchen after also helping me feed the kids. Especially after working all day! Dinner was way more manageable and enjoyable this way.”

(When frustrated or upset)
“Seriously?” or “Come on.”
With a filter this could be more like: “Do we definitely have to do this right now?” or “Could we possibly do this thing differently?”

So there’s my homework. I’ve been fixing a couple of these pretty consistently, but some are still happening here and there. I know better, and Bruce certainly deserves better. But even if he didn’t, it’s just the right way to do things. I’m on it, and blogging more specifically about this helped a lot. Hopefully this post will eventually help someone else along the way too.

Have a great week everyone :)


  1. Oh, when those filters are missing it's never fun. :( I'm missing mine right now, so I'm being pretty quiet to avoid all possible dangers. LOL

    1. I hear you on that! And for sure, quietness is always the best option in those situations. If only I could always remember that in the moment...